Walk Hard: A Sweaty Sox Story

Today I discovered something very exciting about Visalia. It seems that a group of middle aged women gather every morning in our local mall and race a Mall Walker Criterium. I was standing in line at the food court the first time I saw the group go by. I noticed they were in a hurry, but assumed there must be a sale on whatever it is that women find SO exciting in a shopping mall. I grabbed my food and started to head out of the building when i saw them coming at me again. Were they going a little bit faster? This was a race!! I decided to grab myself a seat and watch. As anyone who has ever seen a race knows, the action is in the corners. So staked myself a position between Hot Dog On A Stick and Footlocker. If anyone was going to crash....or throw a shoe this would be the place. The tightest corner in the mall. At lap three I started keeping track of the position of some of the athletes. At lap four I realized that none of the positions had changed. They just rounded the mall, none strong enough to overtake the others. In the straight-away approach of lap five I noticed that the two women who had been leading during the entire race were really starting to smack talk each other. I couldn't hear what was said, and their expressions seemed friendly, but I am sure that they were really trying to get into each others heads. LAP 6! LAP 7! These ladies were bringing it. I realized my lunch hour might not see me through to the end of the race. I had to make a call. At lap 9 I let them know that this was the bell lap. One to go! They were so focused that they hardly seemed to notice. I did see a look of  OLD SCHOOL FURY in the face of the woman in the third position. I had high hopes that she was a sprinter and just waiting to pounce.  Minutes later, the entire group rounded the turn again. Old School Fury had acctualy lost ground. She must have blown up somewhere around Gymboree. The two wire to wire leaders finished in an almost dead heat. Unable to declare a winner I tried to high five them both, but as any good pro walker would, they kept right on moving. They needed a cool down lap. Being a walker myself, I gave them their space. It must be tough with all the walker groupies bothering them anyway. Before they finished their victory lap my lunch hour had ended. Lunch AND a show today. And all for $6.42! What a bargain.