First day Jitters

Today I had to return to work after a twenty day vacation. I was not as unhappy to return as you might think. I know twenty days is a long time and as they say all good things must end. Things took a strange turn though, as I rolled out of bed this morning. I had butterflies. I'm not talking about the cheek for cheek sweat stain I sometimes find on my sheet. I was nervous. Remember your first day back to school after fifth grade summer break? Even though you had been going to the same school with the same kids for six years (more than half your life at that point), you would still get those first day jitters. Tight stomach. Over-active bladder. Maybe some palm sweat. Well, that's how I felt this morning. It made sense back in grade school. New teachers. SOME new students. For me today though, it was a surprise. I'm not sure what I expected. Would my friend Kevin show up with twenty pounds of new muscle like Joe Sanchez did junior year?I still suspect the ROIDS! Would that one girl that works at the other end of the building show up dressed in black, pining over the Cure, like Sammie ( "It's Samantha Now") Walters did at that the beginning of eighth grade? Unlikely. Would someone suddenly be beautiful? Would we all wonder why we never noticed before?


Now, like then, I needn't have been worried. Nothing has changed. Or DID change. Everyone is pretty much the same. ( Although one mans wife did die ) The people I didn't care much for were eager to remind me why I felt that way. My friends were still my friends. Everyone was glad to see that I was back. I don't remember that ever happening in school.

All in all it wasn't a bad day. Plus it's only eight months until my next mini-holiday.

The Tao Of Vagrancy

Last night (if it was last night, jet lag has stolen my sense of time and space) my wife and I flew into Los Angeles where we were making a little stop over on our way home. Through some freak scheduling accident we had an 8 hour layover. We landed in LA just around twelve AM. If you have been to LA then you know that it is a huge city. A populated city. It's ALIVE!!! Unless you happen to be at LAX after midnight. It was like a scene from I Am Legend. Steel doors were rolled down to cover the the entrance to every shop. Restaurant windows revealed chair leg gardens in full bloom.  I have always found inverted chairs stacked on tabletops beautiful. I don't know why. So Leslie and I were left to wander the empty corridors of the airport. We could have taken a seat. Any seat! The choice was ours. Instead we shuffled around for a while but soon fell victim to exaustion. With the entire building to ourselves it seemed that the world was our mattress. But those damn uncomfortable chairs were our proverbial pea. Sleep would not come. Leslie, being quite crafty, had stolen two blankets from the airplane. Take THAT American Airlines!! In true "Shelter Challenged" fashion she unfurreled her bankets and made herself a bed on the floor. All covered up, she looked as warm and snugly as if she were at home on the Beautyrest! I couldn't do it. 

   I have never been jealous of the homeless before. Never really given them much thought at all to be honest with you. But as I sat there for hours, shifting positions every couple of minutes trying to find some semblance of comfort, I began to meditate on the amazing skill set of indegents. I have seen them sleep in the most uncomfortable places. Cement sidewalk. Bus stop bench. Grassy knowls. I have seen them sleep in the daytime. On noisy streets. In the heat. In the cold. I don't mean to make fun of them. It's not them....it's ME! It's how spoiled and pathetic I am. It's the fact that i could not get the tinyest bit of rest in a climate controlled building full of serviceable (if hard) faux leather chairs.  

  I have been reading a book about harnessing the power of the very moment that you are in. Forgetting about the past. Not worrying about the future. It's some sort of Eastern Zen thing. Looking back though (which the zen master says I'm not supposed to do. Oops.) I can kind of see how it was a long stretch of too much comfort and my deep desire for more in the future that was making me miserable. It was all i thought about. I didn't take time to observe the world around me. To really take it in. To walk. To breath. To appreciate that I was inside while it was raining outside. To be happy that Leslie was getting at least a little rest. This is all easy to see as I sit in my warm comfy bed. I guess seeing those things in the moment are the true Toa. There's something to that I think, but I still enjoy a little reflection now and then too. Now though, what I really need is some sleeep!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there still a fun and interesting way to make fun of smokers? That's what I have been trying to figure out for a few weeks now. Everyday I visit a business that, for all intents and purposes is a giant ashtray. It smells AWFUL! Well just when I thought I had an interesting angle, this guy up and died on me. Seems he was smoking six packs of smokes a day and chewing nicotine gum in between to maintain that just brushed feeling. He had a heart attack in the middle of the night. I really can't understand why people continue to do things that are so clearly bad for them. I suppose I am the pot calling the kettle black just a bit. My diet is not the healthiest, but I am choosing between brussel sprouts and cheeseburgers, not regulars and menthols. I do hate feeling like a hypocrite though, so maybe this will inspire me to make a few wiser choices at dinner time. I hope THAT'S not the only good thing to come from this mans untimely demise.